Pizza Hut is and remains a form of fast food. There’s no other way. In recent years they have made pizzas from finished products as if nothing had happened. The crust of the pan is even and predictable, because when you order a pepperoni pizza at the Hut, you know what you get. It’s not bad, but if you go to most quality restaurants, you won’t find it like that. But now Pizza Hut spreads his wings and makes some rather daring statements:
With ads like this they try to let Americans know that Pizza Hut is currently preparing high quality pasta from Italian restaurants. Not only do people cheat in advertising, but they are also enthusiastic about the fact that pasta really is something unique and exceptional. Now I like those words even more, they’re actually spoken every time you realize it’s Pizza Hut.
So it’s Friday night, and the G team and Double G have decided to verify these statements. The plan was to order a shepherd’s hut and convince you and your readers of what’s really going on here.
We decided to take over the Marinara meat and creamy chicken Alfredo varieties. While the bacon and cheese macaroni and cheese seemed seductive enough, we thought that the classic Marinara and Alfredo sauces would give us a true reflection of how Pizza Hut deals with the base. Each order of Tuscan pasta must contain four foods and five sticks of bread. As anyone can say, these numbers just don’t add up. There has been a lot of debate and discussion as to why Pizza Hut would give you that extra bread. Reactions ranged from the theories that Pizza Hut just wanted to throw an extra slice of bread to cut it in half, to claims by strangers that they were deliberately trying to provoke family arguments. The divorce rate is already over 50%, there’s no reason to get any more problems at the table.
In all my days as a customer I have never seen such a confusing and homemade ordering process as on the Pizza Hut website. When I order food online, I am looking for a quick and easy experience. I can see myself entering my email address, shipping address and even my credit card information for future purchases. But I never thought my age and my mother’s maiden name would be needed to order pasta. The worst thing is that if the fields are filled in incorrectly, the website will reset random items when you return to the original screen. The next time you order something from the Pizza Hut site, don’t forget to bring three ID cards and a copy of the constitution.
After successfully placing my order, Pizza Hut gave me an estimated arrival time of 8:17 am. I wonder if Pizza Hut will be given exactly this time, because I couldn’t help but think that I would be very disappointed if my order would arrive some time later.
As planned there will be a sandwich at 8.35 a.m. and finally the pasta arrives. The scary looking courier does a service with a smile, even though he clearly hates his life. The ceremonial image was meant to be broadcast, but it was quickly broadcast when it seemed that our lives were in danger.
The noodles and breadsticks have arrived in a nice package. I was impressed by the look of the boxes and even more surprised that Pizza Hut didn’t just throw them in a normal bread bin. Instead, they came in their special bag.
That’s when the disappointments started. I pulled out a breadstick and stared at it as if I had just seen a ghost. Pizza Hut’s usual breadsticks, garlic, vegetables and herbs have disappeared. What lay ahead of me was just a bitter empty shell of reality.
There was no garlic, no spices, no herbs. All there was was stuffed bread, naked and nothing. I quickly looked at the other 9 snack bars and realized bitterly enough that this was not a joke, but real. I can’t handle the truth, I was thinking, maybe Pizza Hut, baked to taste.
I was greeted with soft, fat-free white cheese. Pizza Hut has clearly failed. I can’t let that predetermine my feelings about real noodles, but I won’t lie when I say breadsticks make me crawl into the fetal position.
Marinara for meat
Creamy chicken Alfredo
So here they are, the official discovery of what appears to be… Pizza? Is it me, or is it macaroni and crispy around the edges? It seems perfectly understandable to all concerned that, when preparing this pasta, the chef took the pre-cooked mixture from the freezer, from the oven, into the box where, in the worst case scenario, it arrives in five minutes of the process.
The first piece of information that the Pizza Hut marketing group fooled me with their ads was that there would be a lot of food. By giving you numbers like three pounds of pasta and using the term family size, I got the impression that six people would have a hard time filling two orders. After studying the contents, I realised that a second tool would be out of the question, because I assumed that three pounds would contain a can, an aluminium bowl, the net weight of the sticks and the birth weight of the first-born of the cook.
The second piece of information that Pizza Hut America misleads in its advertisements is the quality of the pizza in the restaurant. The marinara meat came with the advertised ingredients. We had macaroni with rotinis and meat sauce. During the meal I never really thought it was actually Italian meat sauce, but they just added ground meat and then threw the pizza in the sauce. Italian meat sauce as a restaurant is a subtle art that cannot be imitated by the attempt of a shapeshifter. I really wanted to eat meatloaf pizza the whole time. The pasta in this batch was particularly hard in some places, while in others it was soft and limp. It doesn’t exactly scream for the quality of the restaurant either.
When I went to Creamy Alfredo with chicken, I got more and more scared. The Pizza Shack has already let me down with the brick sticks, they used to give me the meat lovers pizza at the first pasta attempt, and now I would have tasted a lot of ingredients that the Pizza Shack normally doesn’t use at all. To my surprise, Alfredo wasn’t so bad. It certainly wasn’t a helmet, a big helmet or anything like that, but I wasn’t completely overwhelmed either. Alfredo was a bit pasty, but the pasta seemed more consistent here, and the chicken was decent. But the prevailing feeling of my five colleagues and myself would not have fooled any of us if I had thought that it could be useful anywhere, even in the Garden of Olives, and that people would not be offended.
It’s one thing to have pasta, to promote it as a novelty and ask people to try it. But it’s a completely different ball game to tell your customers that their compatriots went to a real restaurant, ordered a three-course menu and then had pizza dough, and that nobody cared. If Pizza Hut had another advertising campaign for this pasta, I wouldn’t be so strict. But the worst thing you can do is try to become a fast food celebrity. The real people who don’t get paid by Pizza Hut will see what’s really going on here.
Honestly, the pasta isn’t great, but you won’t find it in a real Italian restaurant.
Meat marinara: 2/5 Creamy chicken alfredo : 3/5
Until the next sauce,
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